Sweet Cole

Patrick and I told ourselves when Miller was diagnosed with SMA that we wouldn't overwhelm Cole with information he wasn't ready for and couldn't understand (he was 3 years old at the time), but instead we would answer questions honestly as they came. We wanted him to navigate through the grief of losing his brother at his own pace, and in his own time. Cole talks about Miller EVERY.SINGLE.DAY and as he is getting older his questions are getting deeper. Tonight he randomly asked me where HE was when Miller died. He wanted to know if he was at school. I had to think about it for a second but I told him that he was at Nana and Papa's house. Then he wanted to know where Miller was when he died and I told him that Miller was with mommy and daddy. He asked where we were and I told him we were at the hospice house, which of course made him ask what "the hospice house" is. I tried to jog his memory of being there the night before Miller passed away but he didn't seem to remember. Then I told him it was the place where he helped us give those people that big check with Miller's name on it. Of course he remembered that, and I explained to him that the people at Circle of Life Hospice were SO good us and that is why we raise money to support them in memory of Miller. I explained how peaceful Miller's passing was and told him how lucky he is to have his baby brother watching over him from heaven for the rest of his life. He looked at me smiling and said, "I know". This momma is going to bed tonight with a happy heart. A heart that remembers her angel baby EVERY second of EVERY day. A heart that is SO proud of her 1st born son for the way he remembers and loves his baby brother. A heart that is SO thankful for the baby girl sleeping in our nursery tonight. A baby girl that would not be here if it weren't for a baby boy named Miller.