88 Days

It has been 88 days since Miller passed away. That means we have officially been without him for longer than we were with him. It's crazy to think about. In some ways it seems like so much longer, and in others it seems like just yesterday. When I think about all we have been through in the past 5 months it seems like an eternity, but when I think about the last time I held him, it feels like no time at all. I pray that it always feels like that. I so vividly remember him laying on my chest and patting his little bottom. The way he felt. The way he smelled. I can close my eyes and literally feel him here. We have the outfit that he wore before he passed away in a ziplock bag in his closet. Sometimes when I miss him I go in there and get a good sniff, and then I immediately zip it back up;)! I'm so afraid of it loosing it's smell. That outfit, the locket of hair we clipped after he passed away, our Mamie's Poppy Plate with his footprints on it, and of course our pictures and home videos are the "physical things" we hang on to. We are so lucky to have them. We miss you more than ever sweet Miller McNeil. Keep spreading your wings baby boy. Your mommy and daddy are so proud of the legacy you've left behind. No matter how many days pass, you will always be our 2nd born.....Cole's 1st baby brother.....Our angel in heaven. God Speed Little Man.....