One Year Ago: Today

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Today

We had a day full of doctors appointments. Patrick and I took Miller to his follow up genetics appointment today. You can tell from the picture that Miller wasn't too sure what to think about them;). They didn't really tell us anything that we didn't already know from the research we have done on the Internet, but it was still good to hear it from a "professional". The doctor told us he only sees a couple of SMA cases a year. I'm sure most of you who read our blog have done research on the disease, but for those of you that don't know, these are the basics:

• 1 in 40 people are carriers for SMA
• You and your spouse both have to be carriers to have an affected child
• IF you and your spouse are both carriers, you have a 25% chance that your child will have SMA
• 6,000 babies a year are born with SMA

After our genetics appointment, I had my annual OB/GYN appointment with Dr. Birch. I went by myself because Patrick needed to get back to work and Miller doesn't travel well these days, so we wanted to get him home. I didn't expect to get emotional. I really have been totally fine lately. We have accepted where we are NOW. We have our routine and it has become our "normal". I know our hardest days are still ahead, but for the time being, we are GOOD! I could do this forever! Miller is worth EVERY second of "extra" care and all of the days being cooped up in our house. I joke about being in a time warp, but really our days go by so fast with all of the nurses and visitors in and out that I don't even realize when I haven't been outside for days on end. But for some reason today was HARD! As soon as I walked into the doctors office I knew it was going to be bad. It's so weird how a smell can bring back so many emotions. The second I walked through the doors I was overcome by emotion. The happy memories were flooding through my mind. Please don't get me wrong. I don't mean that we aren't happy now. Miller brings SO MUCH happiness to us. More than I ever could have imagined. A different kind of happiness.....TRUE JOY! But the "what could have been" thoughts were flowing like never before. I eventually pulled it together and the rest of the day has been good. I left with a real feeling of peace. Couldn't wait to get home to MY "normal":).....

Posted by Meredith Woodruff at 6:59 PM

5 comments:

Kate said...

love ya memes!!! :)

June 16, 2011 8:37 PM

Anonymous said...

When I had my melanoma after Chip was born and would go in for check-ups every month, I would feel that same feeling creep over me when I entered the office. Everytime. Maybe that's normal, too.
Love, Marcia

June 16, 2011 9:34 PM

Anonymous said...

MOMMA MER LIKE YOUR OLDEST SON COLE SAYS---"MOMMA YOU'RE AWESOME"!!!-----PAPA

June 19, 2011 2:05 PM

CAMoore said...

awe Meredith - love you!!

June 21, 2011 10:36 AM

Jenna said...

Hi Meredith. I stumbled upon your blog after seeing many people on my FB wall mentioning "I'm with Miller" and praying for your family. After doing some looking around, I figured out it was you and your family that my FB friends were talking about and I found your blog from your profile info.
You probably don't know me but my husband, Scott Stubbs, has pointed you out to me before and said he knew you in college. I also knew "of" your husband from being friends with Lindsey Honea in college. We sit very close to ya'll at the Razorback basketball games.
I just wanted you to know that this blog post moved me so much. You see, I was at the doctor that same day you were and I recognized who you were. However, I had no idea what you were going through. Your post touched me deeply. It opened my eyes and made me aware that sometimes we have no idea what others around us are going through. There I was texting, playing on FB, and emailing, and right beside me you are going through such a difficult trial. Gosh, how that can make you look at life differently.
I just wanted you to know that me and my husband are praying for ya'll. One phrase from the bible sticks out to me.... I am praying for "peace like a river" for you and your family. ( Is. 48:18, Is 66:12)
The context for these verses may seem different but the idea is the same: God can give 'peace like a river.' This idea has always been profound for me b/c the symbolism of a river is a wonderful metaphor for Peace.: The image is of a steadily rushing river, never lacking supply, without interruption and spreading out widely.
I am praying for Peace like a river for you, your husband, your son, and family. I am so sorry you are going thru this but wanted you to know that you opened my eyes to consider what others may be dealing with.